Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure.
— (Quran 39:10)
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
So, I’ve decided I want to start writing. In fact, I have so much I want to write about that I’m surprised I haven’t started sooner. I’m not even sure where to start and what exactly I want to do with the content I’m writing but I have ideas of starting this anonymous blog all the way up to publishing my very own book. But for now, while I decide on what I’m going to do next I’ve decided I’ll at least start writing as I’m exploding with things to share with you.
You – being the readers. People that I want to benefit with the knowledge, experiences and advice I have for various personal situations. Thus, also wanting to remain anonymous, as much of the content will be very sensitive and personal and I want to protect my own identity, family and friends in order to benefit others. I feel in life there have been many occasions that I’ve gone through various struggles and often resorted to google to find some sort of answer to my extreme worries and anxiety, only to find very generic advice and information to my concerns. I worry as I continue to write much of this it won’t make much sense until you’ve read some of my work but please bear with me whilst I explain my work to you.
You see, I’ve not really found anyone online that I can really look to as a role model or even to gain some great advice from. And I’m hoping by putting some positive content out there which will primarily resort back to understanding the beauty of Allah’s work and plans for us, that I can benefit others out there who may be going through similar situations. I think I’ll leave it here for now and make a start on sharing one of my experiences to get this going Insha’Allah.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
“When you strive in the way of the Almighty, you don’t worry about being accepted or having the approval of others. You know your priority.”
― Mufti Ismail Menk
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
Before I start, I’d just like to disclose that I’m writing this article as someone who would like to increase my emaan and would like to share my reflections with you. In case this article may serve as a “boost” to get you started in combating your low emaan too.
How did I get here?
I’m not making this an excuse but getting married and becoming way too busy with worldly affairs. Meeting up for family gatherings left, right and centre and becoming overwhelmed with my new life.
This then led me away from the small but regular activities I enjoyed being involved with. From the local lectures on Islamic topics which related to me to meeting up with my friends that often reminded me about Islam.
I found myself diluting in what I thought should be a “wife” and forgetting to better myself as an individual. (This may make no sense at all but if you’ve felt like this too, you’ll get it).
Not putting my religion first and constantly stressing about the future, forgetting that the future is not even guaranteed.
My steps to making a change
I am making conscious effort to pray my 5 daily prayers. Whether on time or delayed, I’m making a start to make sure this has been fulfilled.
I’ve started reading more about Islam and currently enjoying a book called Light upon Light which is about reflections of Life, Love and God. It’s an easy and interesting read about Islam in the modern day and has been a great way to remind myself of various Islamic teachings.
I have recently attended an Islamic conference which helped as a small Islamic reminder but intend to visit more lectures in order to further my Islamic knowledge.
Whilst I can’t understand Arabic I will be reading the Quran in English (Oxford World Classsics) and will be looking to hire an Quran teacher.
In summary, all the small acts of worship I did on a regular basis helped me to create a foundation for my emaan and to build on this. And whilst I still feel like I have Islam instilled in everything I pursue I would like to be in a much better place with my emaan and most importantly want to be able to say I regularly pray my 5 daily prayers.
I hope this article is of some sort of help if you feel like you’re in the same situation or generally to help you reflect on your own emaan. If you have any questions you’d like answered, feel free to comment in the box below.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
“May Allah bless me and give me and everyone the opportunity to perform umrah and hajj.”
– Anonymous Ukht
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
So, for our two-year wedding anniversary we decided we’ll go to Umrah. We’ve done a few cute little trips within those two years and it was now finally time for the ultimate trip before we decide to settle down. We had a look at Umrah packages and whilst they seemed very well organised, we wanted more flexibility with the schedules of our days and wanted a bit of an adventure. After a few months of planning and research we put together the following itinerary.
Please note – like the title suggests, it was very last minute as we spent a bit too long researching for the right places to stay and how we’d get around, but we finally had everything booked 3 weeks before our trip.
London to Medinah
Our trip is scheduled for February and we’ve decided after several recommendations from friends and family that we’ll be visiting Medinah first. We were initially going to fly into Jeddah but realised it would take another additional 4 hours from the airport to get to Medinah when we could just fly straight there.
Even with our last-minute booking, we managed to get tickets for £389 each (2 x 23kg bags included) without seat reservations. We Used to always pay for seat reservations but after a few times of not booking this we realised we’ve always been put together anyway. I would do this at your own risk though as there is always the chance you may not be seated together (but since I plan to sleep for the entire flight this wasn’t such an issue for me).
The total flight time is roughly 10 hours with a 2-hour layover in Beirut and will depart from 10pm and land at 10am. From the airport we’ve found that the cheapest method of transport for us will be using an Uber to collect us and dropping us straight to our hotel close to Al Masjid an Nabawi costing us roughly £7.
We’ll be staying at Zowra International for 3 days and 4 nights, giving us plenty of time to visit Al Masjid an Nabawi for our daily prayers and taking a trip to Mount Uhud (where the Prophet (saw) took refuge after being wounded during the Battle of Uhud). This is a 4* hotel and in comparison, to all the local hotels, was the best value for money. We’ve opted for a basic twin bedroom and have requested a double bed if available (this option was available on booking.com) and we’ve also been advised that if possible, they will allow us to check in early as we’ll be landing at 10am.
However, if this cannot be accommodated, there check in time is 4pm and we plan to have some breakfast and explore the local area until this time. The hotel itself is a few minutes’ walk away from Al Masjid an Nabawi which was very important for us due to the heat in February and is also close the women’s and men’s entrance. This hotel cost us £106 (breakfast not included) and has a free cancellation policy until a few days before our booking and no pre-payment required. We opted for these options as we’d like to pay our balance at the hotel on check-in with a debit card.
Medinah to Makkah
The most cost-effective method of travel for Medinah to Makkah for two people would be the Haramain high-speed train. The cost for this would be £35 each for economy class and can only be booked at least a week or several days in advance (you’ll notice if you start trying to book these tickets a month in advance on their website it will come up with no availability). We will be booking these train tickets once we’ve arrived into Medinah to see the best availability options. The tickets can only be purchased online and the journey will take up to 2 hours. It is recommended to arrive at the station 30 minutes before your departure.
To get to the station from our Medinah hotel we again will be taking an Uber which will cost us less than £10. And again, once we arrive into Makkah we will take another Uber to our Makkah hotel costing us less than £10. In total, we have budgeted £95 for travel from Medinah to Makkah.
We mentioned before that we prefer not paying in advance but having seen all the prices for hotels in Makkah, we decided the best choice would to pre-pay. The only reason being, is that we’d essentially save just over £100 for every hotel we were interested in by doing this. So, in the end the nicest and cheapest hotel we found was Pullman Zam Zam. The hotel itself is a 5* hotel and is incredibly close to the Kaaba being a few minutes’ walk to the Masjid Al Haram King Fahd Gate accessible both by men and women.
We decided we would stay here for 6 days and 5 nights. We plan to complete our Umrah once arriving into Makkah Insha’Allah once dropping of our luggage at the hotel. This will all be dependant on the timing of trains available that day and what time we arrive into Makkah based on this. If not, we will keep our Ihram for the following day and complete our Umrah then. We will then spend the next few days completing Tawaf as much as possible whilst we have the opportunity, visiting the cave of Hira (where the first words of divine revelation are said to have descended upon Prophet Muhammad PBUH) and exploring the area. This hotel cost us £540 (breakfast not included).
Makkah to Jeddah airport
Lastly, our final part of our trip will be taking an Uber ride to Jeddah airport (which again is the cheapest option for two people) costing roughly £32. We’ll then be catching a flight back to the UK at 1pm and will be back home by 10pm.
Break down of basic costs when split between two:
Flights – £389
Hotels – £323
Travel – £61
e-Visa – £90
Spending money – £100 (for food and extras).
Total – £963
I hope this helps you if you’re looking to book a D-I-Y Umrah soon or in the future and if you have any questions feel free to comment at the bottom of this page.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
When you forget that you need Allah (God), He puts you in a situation that causes you to call upon Him. And that’s for your own good.
Omar Suleiman
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
Like all my articles, this one’s going to a bit of a roller coaster too. And I say that “so-called” dream job because along the way I learnt what I really wanted in my career and the journey there wasn’t as straight forward as I had expected. So to give you a bit of background, I’ve been to high school and achieved a few GCES (I’ll leave how many to your imagination because it really wasn’t as much as I was capable of), I then started a diploma in my first year but then dropped this and continued with A Levels (and yes by this point I’d learnt my lesson that I just wasn’t that great with staying focused in education so picked the easiest subjects out there) and then finally, studied a specialism within business. And this is when I finally smashed my results, I received a first class and not only that – I was the highest achiever in my entire cohort. Just shows you how well you can do when you have a genuine interest in what you’re studying.
Whilst at university I spent every summer break taking an internship in the field I wanted to pursue and by the time I had graduated I had a jam-packed CV ready for my first graduate role. But you see by the time I had graduated, I was exhausted! I’d been studying for months now for several exams on different topics all of which would take place one after the other in the same month. So, I’d decided I’d take some time out since I had the rest of my life to work and I wasn’t too sure when I’d next be able to take a break like this. I spent my days spending quality time with my family and catching up with friends, catching up on my sleep and attempting to achieve a whole bunch of other goals I’d put together (which I soon realised were a bit too hopeful). But I definitely didn’t regret taking the break and had been feeling productive. I should also mention that I had saved a bit of cash aside after graduating to enjoy myself but after 6 months this was starting to run low and I really wanted to start making some cash.
So now that my break was over, I spent the next two months looking for jobs (it literally became a full-time job in itself). I went to several interviews all over London, many of which included several stages and tasks or presentations to provide. But I had finally landed a job I was happy with (to start with anyway). It was local, I could drive there, it was the starting position I was looking for in my field (assistant role) and everyone seemed friendly. This first role was the first and last small company I had worked with, but I can say that there is more a “family” vibe within small companies and people really do look out for one another. I stayed there for a year and a half but with no opportunity to progress with the company being so small I moved onto what I thought was my dream job. An officer role for a large Islamic organisation with a better salary and an actual prayer room (I had previously been praying in the basement of my old company). I felt extremely lucky as I now felt I could better meet my career aspirations and religious goals together and that this new company would be the place I’d want to settle and progress within.
I’ll cut this extremely short, but essentially the role was nothing like I had expected. The company and its culture were far from the ideal environment and worst of all – this is where I met the worst boss I ever had. I decided I’d leave after 6 months and again went back on the job hunt. I didn’t want to be out of work for too long as I had already taken a break and thankfully with a lot of dua’s managed to find a job within a month through a recruiter. I now worked for a global organisation within a beautiful building in central London and once again, thought I’d landed the dream job (second time round). I had received a better salary and moved into an executive position and had a lot more opportunities to take ownership for my work.
The job was short lived and lasted 6 months since I figured I was doing two people’s roles and was completely exhausted every evening (doing overtime every day). I’d also got married towards the end of this role and had major holiday blues so decided to take a break again. This worked well for my mental and physical health as I had a lot more commitments in my life now being a newly wed bride. I wanted a small break and thought about working after Ramadan has passed but somehow, I ended up enjoying it a bit too much and ended up taking several months off. At this point, I’d figured that maybe that dream job was never going to happen and so took on something a bit more laid back. It was still an executive job, but I’d decided to take on a contract role for the first time ever. It started with 3 months and was then extended, and I had thought I’d at least be working there for 6 months. But let’s just say, I technically got fired. I was given a few reasons, the main one being I wasn’t suitable for the role, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t really care by this point.
I came in day in and day out, didn’t speak to anyone, was really bored with work, there seemed to be a very negative atmosphere in the office and I’d been trying to avoid job hopping again but I guess I was saved from doing so and was sent on my way instead. I was given garden leave and asked to leave the office immediately like I was an urgent threat to the office but as I left – I felt happy with myself and was looking forward to new thing to come. And as always, reminded myself that I may plan things one way, but Allah SWT has a better plan for me just waiting ahead.
So, dare I say it, I then finally landed my dream job. Working in a beautiful part of London, close to home, the most convenient commute, working from home one day a week and have managed to stay for more than 6 months. I’ve decided to settle here but as usual my plans always come with a bit of a twist. I now want to settle down Insha’Allah and start a family so please make dua for me that my REAL dream job comes along – and that will be to be a mother.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
(Quran 2:286)
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
Alhamdulillah, I don’t have anxiety all the time, but it loves to creep up on me quite a bit. I’ve often wondered if I’ve needed to see a GP or a doctor about it but after reading up about the symptoms and when to seek professional help – I don’t quite meet the requirements. Not to say that anxiety doesn’t affect me in a way that sometimes makes me feel very crippled, emotionally and physically. However, I just don’t have the symptoms for months on end, rather in frequent waves of a day or two, a week or even up to a month.
But when it does hit me, I really struggle to see past what is concerning me. I then find it hard to get on with my day to day life and enjoy the people I’m around. I constantly start to stress about this often very small and basic obstacle in my life which at the time feels like the biggest and difficult problem of my life. I’ve often noticed how small a problem is after I’ve overcome the concern and the anxiety starts to wear down. But unfortunately, I just struggle to deal with how I feel at the time, often curling up in a ball, eating very little to get by and usually resorting to sleep to stop all the thoughts. Because more than anything, my thoughts often go in a vicious circle.
They’ll start with a worry; I’ll give you an example. A utility bill that is incorrect. Based on my previous experiences with dealing with customer agents I then start to think about all the things they’ve messed up with in the past and how they won’t be able to fix this. How I’ll then be chased up for hundreds of pounds for a bill they got wrong. How the bailiffs will come to my house and how I’ll need to attend court to resolve the issue. And all the other possible situations and various negative outcomes. In fact, I would say these outcomes in my head go to the furthest extreme, so I feel prepared for the worst possible outcome.
But as a result of all these outcomes, is then me trying to find a solution to every single one. This is the point I then resort to google – my very untrustworthy friend. I try to find people in similar situations that can shed some light on my situation and any other official website I might be able to find some accurate information on. Once this part of my worries is done and I feel I have a potential solution to even the worst-case scenario, which is when I start to calm down. I then remind myself that I’m stressing over something that I can overcome and start to take care of my health again. At this stage, I’m often reminding myself that this life is a test and that nothing in this life was meant to bring me pure happiness. I try to remind myself to pray to better my mental health and make dua as much as I can – because who better to ask for help than from them Allah (SWT).
But it doesn’t stop there… you see the vicious cycle of my anxiety goes around and around like this. I go over the same possible negative outcomes (sometimes even come up with new ones), console myself by going over my solutions again (and possibly finding loopholes in my own solutions) and then finally back to coming back to some sort of reality. This all finally ends shortly after I’ve overcome my initial problem and my concerns can finally rest.
More than anything, I know I’m probably not the only person that goes through this cycle of anxiety and I hope by sharing this article I can share some sort of comfort to someone else out there going through the same experience. It’s all very much a learning curve and although I haven’t quite mastered keeping my anxiety under control, I have learnt some tricks and tips along the way. Many of which I’ve learnt from the following video, so please do check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1B60L4m60M.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
anonymousukht.fitness.blog 