Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
(Quran 2:286)
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
Alhamdulillah, I don’t have anxiety all the time, but it loves to creep up on me quite a bit. I’ve often wondered if I’ve needed to see a GP or a doctor about it but after reading up about the symptoms and when to seek professional help – I don’t quite meet the requirements. Not to say that anxiety doesn’t affect me in a way that sometimes makes me feel very crippled, emotionally and physically. However, I just don’t have the symptoms for months on end, rather in frequent waves of a day or two, a week or even up to a month.
But when it does hit me, I really struggle to see past what is concerning me. I then find it hard to get on with my day to day life and enjoy the people I’m around. I constantly start to stress about this often very small and basic obstacle in my life which at the time feels like the biggest and difficult problem of my life. I’ve often noticed how small a problem is after I’ve overcome the concern and the anxiety starts to wear down. But unfortunately, I just struggle to deal with how I feel at the time, often curling up in a ball, eating very little to get by and usually resorting to sleep to stop all the thoughts. Because more than anything, my thoughts often go in a vicious circle.
They’ll start with a worry; I’ll give you an example. A utility bill that is incorrect. Based on my previous experiences with dealing with customer agents I then start to think about all the things they’ve messed up with in the past and how they won’t be able to fix this. How I’ll then be chased up for hundreds of pounds for a bill they got wrong. How the bailiffs will come to my house and how I’ll need to attend court to resolve the issue. And all the other possible situations and various negative outcomes. In fact, I would say these outcomes in my head go to the furthest extreme, so I feel prepared for the worst possible outcome.
But as a result of all these outcomes, is then me trying to find a solution to every single one. This is the point I then resort to google – my very untrustworthy friend. I try to find people in similar situations that can shed some light on my situation and any other official website I might be able to find some accurate information on. Once this part of my worries is done and I feel I have a potential solution to even the worst-case scenario, which is when I start to calm down. I then remind myself that I’m stressing over something that I can overcome and start to take care of my health again. At this stage, I’m often reminding myself that this life is a test and that nothing in this life was meant to bring me pure happiness. I try to remind myself to pray to better my mental health and make dua as much as I can – because who better to ask for help than from them Allah (SWT).
But it doesn’t stop there… you see the vicious cycle of my anxiety goes around and around like this. I go over the same possible negative outcomes (sometimes even come up with new ones), console myself by going over my solutions again (and possibly finding loopholes in my own solutions) and then finally back to coming back to some sort of reality. This all finally ends shortly after I’ve overcome my initial problem and my concerns can finally rest.
More than anything, I know I’m probably not the only person that goes through this cycle of anxiety and I hope by sharing this article I can share some sort of comfort to someone else out there going through the same experience. It’s all very much a learning curve and although I haven’t quite mastered keeping my anxiety under control, I have learnt some tricks and tips along the way. Many of which I’ve learnt from the following video, so please do check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1B60L4m60M.
Until next time, As-salamu Alaykum (Peace be upon you).
